Becoming. . .

The last few weeks have been crazy. After dropping Sister Nestman, now Brittany, off for her to fly home I picked up 2 new companions. They are taking over the area together once I leave next week.  One is fresh from the MTC and the other has only been out 5 months! They are fantastic missionaries though! As we have been together we have been seeing so many miracles and because of said miracles we have been really busy; training, teaching, exchanging, planning, then repeat. Oh and don't forget to throw in a wrench or two in our plans and you have what's been our last 3 weeks. This may seem like a stressful transfer to some however, I can't even begin to describe how great it's been. I have felt my testimony grow in ways that are indescribable. I have felt the love of my Savior in more abundance and I have felt peace amongst all the storm that is about me. 



In Your Loneliest Walk You Are Not Alone

You know how you listen to a song and never really listen to the lyrics? Well, I haven't paid attention to the lyrics on this particular song. The other day I heard the words and they left such an impression on my heart that I had to share it with you.

The Loneliest Walk- David Osmond
(Listen to it here)

She pushes L on that old elevator door
Her heart is broken, arms are bare
The doors are closing and she’s staring at the floor
There’s still a piece of her up there
It seems like yesterday she saw her on the screen
Painted a room and picked out names
But now she has to leave her under big machines
To keep alive her tiny frame
She’s on the way to her car, but it’s never felt this far

With each step she takes there’s another to follow
And one more ache, one more tear to swallow
She’s gotta keep moving
Forget about the bruising inside
through the loneliest walk of her life

He pushes up his glasses, staring at her name
One last time before he leaves
He saw this coming but to see it now, engraved
It's still so hard to believe
It seems like yesterday they kissed and made their vows
Her favorite flowers in her hair
He's staying later than they normally allow
Clutching those flowers in a prayer
And on the way to their front door, no hand to hold there anymore

With each step he takes there's another to follow
And one more ache, one more tear to swallow
He's gotta keep moving,
Forget about the bruising inside
Through the loneliest walk of his life

He pushes up the board they’ve tied onto his shoulders
He bears, with dignity, disgrace
He hears the jeering and the wind is getting colder
Tastes the blood upon his face

His body bruised and back still open from the scourges
The consequence of wicked men
He knows no man on earth has ever deserved this
But still he bears it all for them

And He keeps moving up the hill to do his father’s will

With each step he takes there’s another to follow
and one more ache, one more tear to swallow
we all stand by and watch as the price is paid
Through the loneliest walks of his life
so we don’t feel alone in the night
we can have his hand holding the light
through the lowliest walks of our lives
Keep pushing through this lonely walk you’re going through
Cause someone’s walked this way before

Sometimes in life it's hard to take the next step and the next one and the next one. It can be rough but I know that we don't have to walk alone. He is there every step of the way. I have felt Him lift my burdens and strengthen me when they couldn't be lifted. I know He loves us beyond measure. I know if you turn to Him He will be there in your loneliest walk of your life.

Journal Time!

My finished journal

 I had a really awesome journal that I just loved writing in before my mission. There are priceless memories recorded in that journal. For instance, Christmas that year was amazing, then there was my experience of singing in general conference and of course my decision I made to go on a mission is recored in those pages. I knew my mission was going to be an opportunity of a lifetime so I bought a new journal, a moleskine journal at that. This journal has a cool pocket in the back and 240 pages of college lined paper and just plain amazingness.  When I bought it I never thought I would ever finish writing in it's pages but I did! It is filled! Front and back! Not only that but it is filled with the memories I have created over the last 17 months.  

It's huge!

That's nice Sister Kahrs, you write in a journal. Whoopdie do. The main reason I write in a journal is because of the gospel. The fact that I can relive great times is amazing icing on the cake. I really started to keep a journal because of what an apostle of the Lord said back in 2007; that apostle: President Eyring. In this particular talk he gave was about keeping a journal. He started a journal one day when he felt the Spirit tell him, "I’m not giving you these experiences for yourself. Write them down." His father-in-law was helping him with something that need to be done on his house and instead of his father-in-law calling someone in to fix it he repaired it himself. This really touched Elder Eyring and that is when the spirit inspired him to write down how he saw the hand of the lord in his life and in the lives of his family members. 

I Have a Vision

As missionaries we are instructed roughly every 2 months in what is called a zone conference. This is to help us be more effective missionaries to better help our Heavenly Father's children. In this particular zone conference President Bunker, our mission president, talked about goals. I thought I heard it all when it came to goals. That's because as missionaries, we set goals everyday so we can be effective missionaries; so goals are something talked about a lot. However, I was wrong and the Spirit proved it to me when President Bunker started to teach.

He talked about having a vision behind our goals and then making plans to accomplish those goals. To illistrate his point he "picked on" a missionary and started to interrogate them. He asked if they saw themself getting married in the temple one day or having a family one day (for more on the temple check out I Am Menasco's blog post about it ----> HERE) . He went on asking questions along those same lines. I don't remember the rest of his questions, because my mind trailed off. These are things I have never tried to give too much thought about because it's too far away. Don't get me wrong, I know that getting married and having children one day is a blessing the Lord wants to give me, but I have always thought that "one day" is far far FAR away. 

Tick. . . .Tock . . . Tick . . Tock. Tick

There has been a lot on my mind lately. Especially today. Today is the mark for my final 6 weeks of my mission. My last full transfer experience is happening now. I go home December 16th, exactly 18 months to the day from when I entered the glorious Missionary Training Center, aka MTC. Time on the mission is very strange to say the least. Time goes by very fast; that is if you're being obedient and doing what you're supposed to be doing. I feel like I just started my mission and met my first companion. It's so strange. Time is a strange thing, specifically the Lord's timing.

His timing is ultimately the best timing. Throughout my life, and going through what I have, I never really appreciated the Lord's timing. I used to think 'why didn't my parents die when I was older?' 'How come the Lord wanted me to serve a mission past the age of 21 and after I graduated from College?' Those and other questions have been going through my mind lately since it is nearing the end. So I decided to turn to my trusty scriptures and the words of apostles for advice.

There Will Always Be Hope. . . Part 3

Don't you just love the title of my blog post? It is so true! There is always hope, there is always a way to come back and come back clean. How do we do this? Well, we are given the opportunity to act and to follow Jesus Christ in word and action.

In 2 Nephi 31 verse 10 of the Book of Mormon Jesus Christ says to "Follow Thou Me." This whole chapter is devoted to Him being baptized. We know that He was baptized by immersion, or He was under the water entirely, by John the Baptist who had the proper priesthood authority. A lot of people have asked me, "wasn't Jesus perfect? If so, why was He baptized?" The above mentioned chapter of 2 Nephi answers that question:

"Know ye not that he was holy? But notwithstanding he being holy, he showeth unto the children of men that, according to the flesh he humbleth himself before the Father, and witnesseth unto the Father that he would be obedient unto him in keeping his commandments." (2 Nephi 31:7)

He was being obedient to the commandments that God gave all of us. He invites us to "Follow thou me" and we follow Him by being baptized. This is the gate way to live with out Heavenly Father again. He wants us to return to Him and he has provided a way that we can get there and given us the perfect example to follow.

I remember when I was baptized and the hope that I felt. I remember being in our car and looking out the window on our way home from my baptism. It was a whirlwind of a day and sitting there I think I was finally able to realize what just happened. As I sat there in the car I remember feeling happy and just peaceful. It was a different peace than I had felt in a long time or ever before in my life.

There Will Always Be Hope. . .Part 2

You know the story of Jesus walking on water, right? Its a good one. I love Jesus in the story of course but I really love Peter and his example. Yep, Peter. I just love that apostle of the Lord! He teaches us a lot in this story. Let's review. The apostles are on a boat in the middle of a sea in the midst of a storm. All of a sudden they see Jesus but don't know it's him at first, they actually think he is a spirit on the water. Wrong, it's Jesus and he tells them to fear not and to be of good cheer.

Alrighty, let's stop there. Can you imagine? You're in this horrible storm, you see a spirit and you're all afraid and then you see Him. The Savior of the world walking on the water, the storm tossed water. I know what I would be thinking, "Hey! get in the boat, it's crazy out there!" I don't think I would really notice that He is walking on water. But Peter does, and he wants to walk on water too! First off, I don't have that faith. Peter is incredible. All Jesus says is, "Come." So he does, he walks on the water but we all know that he starts to sink because of whatever reason you want to put. It could be attributed to a lack of faith, fear, the storm, many different reasons. What I want to focus on is what Peter did after he started to sink.

There Will Always Be Hope. . .Part 1

Alma says, "For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God." I have found this statement to be very true. We have this life to prepare, to make choices, wether they bring joy or sorrow we have that gift to choose. What I want to focus on is not the joy in this post.....I know weird but there can be a lot of saddness that we experience in life because of our choices. Let's face it.....we aren't perfect. I am FAR from perfect. Trust me on that one! As Paul says in his epistle to the Romans, "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God." I have never met someone who says they are perfect. I've read about a man who was perfect. He is more than a man He the one who makes up for our short comings.

God Gave Us Families. . .

For most of my mission I have served in Single's wards. . .I know weird. I love it though. The singles ward has a great vitality to it that is unlike any other. You maybe wondering why is I'm blogging about families. It has been on my mind a lot lately especially since I will be seeing my family in December. I think they are really getting excited for me to be back home. :) Family is also on my mind a lot because we teach people all the time that families can be together forever. That I know to be true! Just see my last post on temples.

Most people when they think Mormon they think huge crazy families. I am mormon and I think that. However, family is where it's at! Heavenly Father gave us families to help us. We are to love one another and support each other in whatever phase of life we are in. My family isn't mormon and that's okay. I love them so much and I know they love me no matter what. Sometimes it's hard for them that I am on a mission; being away from them for 18 months. But I know they love me and support me in my decisions. For that I am ever grateful.

(My amazing family-not all of us but close)

Your Relationship with God. . .It's as Easy as Riding a Bike

I have been thinking a lot about The Book of Mormon  recently. Yes,  I know I'm a missionary and that I'm supposed to think about it a lot but recently it has taken on a whole new meaning for me. As I have talked to people on my mission the common thing people tell me is that they want to be closer to God; or they want to have a stronger relationship with Him. I think this is a desire most of us have in life. Especially when life seems to be ripping at the seams and you just don't know what to do. So how do we come closer to our Heavenly Father? In the introduction to the Book of Mormon Joseph Smith is quoted as saying, “I told the brethren that the Book of Mormon was the most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of our religion, and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book.”

This statement is very true. This book of scripture, which is another testament of Jesus Christ, truly has brought me so much closer to my Father in Heaven. I have come to know who He is and to really feel how much He loves me by reading it.  For instance today I felt close to Him as I read in 2 Nephi 8 verse 22, "Thus saith thy Lord, the Lord and thy God pleadeth the cause of his people; behold, I have taken out of thine hand the cup of trembling, the dregs of the cup of my fury; thou shalt no more drink it again." This scripture shows me how much my Savior loves me. He loves me so much He took that which was going to be my punishment for my sins and bore it on His back so I can return to our Father in Heaven. 

Joy in the House of the Lord

I love this temple. When I was really young I used to live by this temple. When we would drive by it I imagine myself as a princess in that gorgeous building. When I go there today I know that I am a daughter of a King. This knowledge gives me SO much JOY!! I love how I feel when I go there. I know it is in this house of God that I can be sealed to my family forever. In this temple and in all temples around the world families are being united forever by the priesthood. It is proof that God does love us and want us to have joy!

(Las Vegas, Nevada Temple)

More Joy Than in Just a Photograph

I have many loves in my life; the gospel, my scriptures and my camera. If I ever lost my camera I'm just not sure what I would do. With this powerful tool I can take gorgeous pictures and at the same time capture just a glimpse of my life. I especially love my camera on my mission. There have been many precious moments that I've captured with my lens that I hope to never forget.  However, I have found that there a moments that just can't be photographed. Like the first time I knew I felt the Holy Ghost guiding me in my life, or the time that I really felt God's love for me. One time in particular was when we were teaching an amazing guy in Napa. It was then I could tell by looking into his eyes that the Spirit was confirming to him the truthfulness of this gospel. These moments are precious to me that have brought me so much joy.
There are so many things in this gospel that aren't tangible. We can't see Jesus Christ in person, we can't hold the gold plates, we don't have a picture to prove that Joseph Smith saw God the Father and Jesus Christ. These are great things but we have to take a step of faith and believe.  As my friend Kenny in Santa Rosa said, "Faith is believing even if you can't see, touch or taste it." I invite you to find joy and pray to a loving Heavenly Father who is waiting to answer your prayers. I know His Son Jesus Christ can bring us so much joy that can't even begin to be captured in a photograph.

Oakland Temple August 18, 2011

Joy

I love the word Joy! Its why I am a missionary. You see, I haven't always had joy in my life. At times my life was pretty rough, either because of my choices or because of the choices of others. I didn't understand the concept of opposition in all things as Lehi taught in 2 Nephi 2 in the Book of Mormon. To taste the bitter is to truly experience the sweet. One night I prayed and asked Heavenly Father over and over and over to know joy; I was pretty adamant. He answered my prayer as I read His scriptures. Now I am a missionary serving in California and feeling more joy than I have ever felt in my life. That joy has come as I have read the Book of Mormon and shared the gospel of Jesus Christ with others.  In the same chapter in the Book of Mormon where Lehi is teaching his children about opposition he says, "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy." (2 Nephi 2:25). We are here on this earth and it maybe challenging at times but we are here to feel joy. That joy only comes from following Jesus Christ.